APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED
Sitting in the balcony with a hot cup of coffee, watching the falling drop of rain, Nia was lost in some deep thoughts, the reason a message in her inbox took her to the gallery of past, where she hardly wanted to go. It’s been 10 years she has not seen or even thought of Rahul, her love, with whom once she wanted to spend all her life.
Nia and Rahul were pursuing their Engineering, where they first met and fell for each other. Nia still often asks herself was that really love? Or just an infatuation? or just a time pass? Or just one-sided love?
They used to enjoy each other’s company, helped each other in every way like combine studies,project assignments, event management also they made so many promises, somewhere determined to fulfill also. At the end of the college, Rahul got placement in a highly reputed company with handsome salary Nia was also very proud of him sooner Nia also got a lucrative job offer which she desperately wanted to join but Rahul was not happy as the company was not equally renowned as of his. Nia was well aware of her own house condition she wanted to lend her hands to help her family with this job.
No!! No!. Nia’s family condition was good enough, but the situation turned differently the day Nia’s father was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness and all the doctors almost gave up on him, she had her mother and younger sister, who was just in grade 7 that time. Nia’s parent tried their best in raising their daughters well and provided them all the luxuries, they wished for. However, her father’s treatment, medical expenses hit badly their financial planning.
Those were the days when Nia was known for fashionista, but now she hardly goes for shopping, her mother was a symbol of soft beauty with brain, a well-educated lady, husband’s illness faded away the colors of her beauty, in spite of all bads she never forget to make sure that her daughters day should start with a pretty smile, ensuring that her husband pills chart is well updated.
She was well aware of the reality, but some time feels vulnerable but as a woman she never allowed her weakness to come on her face, yes, that is also true, side by side she prepares Nia and her sister for that unfortunate day which might come sooner or later where they probably have to live without their dad.
In all these hustle and bustle from home to hospital, from hospital to walk-in interviews, and again to home Nia was trying her best to give equal time and priority to Rahul also, she wanted to share her inner battle of thoughts to him but he hardly listens, rarely able to understand from what Nia was going through. Months and months passed by Rahul become a complete corporate man with the whole corporate attitude and behavior , Nia was losing the position on Rahul’s priority list.
Finally, the fateful day arrived and Nia’s father left the world for forever emptiness in their life.
Going through all these turmoil and trials Nia realized that Rahul never came to see her dad or to console her, Nia’s eyes were still waiting for Rahul and her ears were eager to listen to Rahul’s consoling words, and his shoulder to lean on.
After a week of her Dad’s death, she got a call from one of her old college friends asking, “Why she didn’t come for the function”? Nia said,” function”? “What function”? Her friend said, “I mean marriage function”. Nia said, “whose marriage”? Her friend replied. Of course, I am talking about Rahul’s marriage”. This line still haunts Nia, she shattered from inside, broken all over the hearts she wanted to cry but she couldn’t as her family was still recovering from father’s loss.
She wanted to share her pain, especially with her mother, with whom she always shared a beautiful bond of friendship, but she couldn’t because her mom was already in a grief, she needed a friend to share but again she can’t, as most of her friends settled down away from the city and somewhere because of Rahul, she detached herself from all the friends, she was in deep pain with choked throat, with broken heart into many pieces, fighting with countless storm inside, however, she chooses to keep mum.
After a month gone by Nia’s mother asked her that you have a very good friend Rahul na? He didn’t come any day? Is he aware about your dad’s demise? Asking this, Nia started crying badly, had put all her heart open in front of her mom, all the storms she was fighting all alone, she vented out everything.
Mom shocked by knowing the truth of daughter’s love life, then also, wiped her tears, stood by her strength, she asked for some promises to her girl,” my girl promise me you will never ever cry for a guy, who never accept you, the way you are, relationships meant to make us happier and stronger not vulnerable, never compromise on your self-respect, leave the place, right the moment you feel disrespectful, put your energy in fighting back, don’t you dare to forget what your dad taught you!!! invest your emotion in the person, who can feel your pain without uttering a word, if someone not, they are not worthy enough to deserve you my bachcha(my child)”. That day Nia met a new woman in her mom, much stronger one.
Nia cried all that night by pressing her face against the pillow, pain of that night was the proof of the brighter days in Nia’s ways, the next morning brought a new stronger version of Nia who took an oath, to become the strongest pillar for her mother and sister. She collected all her courage by understanding the call of the time, need of her family she went back to the zone of the job hunt with the strong thoughts in mind to bring back her family on track, who was indebted with a huge amount of loan needed for her father’s treatment.
Nia applied for jobs, went through various job interviews, cracked some and finally, she got the job in PSUs. Time changed it’s been 10 years without a dad, today Nia is well settled in her job, she decided not to marry until her younger sis completes her studies and get good campus placement. While returning from office in her car Nia got a message in her inbox from unknown no. clicking on it she read,” I am so sorry for what I did to you, at the moment when you were in extreme need of my support, I choose to be settled my career first with or without you. In the blind race of becoming successful, I kept doing blunders by taking wrong decisions, my marriage was one of the decisions among those, but it’s all broken now, I apologize for all my deeds, all pains I have given to you, can we meet once”?
But a self-esteemed woman inside Nia, didn’t allow her to revert back the message, just echoed…“APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED” Period!!!!
Don’t underestimate the power of true womanhood, women have the quality to double the things in counts whatever you give to her, she will return back it in double, whether it is LOVE , RESPECT, HATE, iGNORANCE, HONESTY, INTEGRITY, CARE, etc.
Concluding my post with my favorite song for this day as I never found any song better than this to describe the WOMANHOOD in the best way!!
“Komal Hai Kamjor Nahi Tu, Shakti Ka Naam Hi Nari Hai
Jag ko Jeevan Dene Wali Maut Bhi Tujhse Haari Hai”
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